Sunday, April 1, 2007

Sonnet

Home in Hawaii
The Aloha State has unique seasons.
In winter there is only rain, no snow.
We love this time, we all have our reasons:
gifts wrapped in paper with a pretty bow.
Spring is the time when iiwi birds sing.
The early rising sun makes new life grow.
The flaming red hibiscus is blooming
As nature gives us a brilliant show.
Summer is the relaxing time of year.
The schools are out and break is moving in.
No more monotonous lectures to hear.
Watch out! The sun sears unprotected skin.
Autumn is when the kolea return.
School is in session, we have come to learn.

Sonnet Analysis
"Home in Hawaii" uncovers how Hawaii is like no other place on earth. Hawaii has an assortment of native plants and animals that call these islands "home." The seasons also reflect Hawaii's uniqueness. For each season, there is least one example - that makes this place so special and different from anywhere else in the world. As winter melts into spring, spring to summer, and summer to fall, there are subtle but definite changes in Hawaii's environment.
When people think of winter in general, they picture snow drifting down from the sky and covering the earth with glistening white, but in Hawaii, we have snowless winters. Instead, we have lots and lots of rain. (If you remember last year, we had forty days of rain.) The sonnet describes the typical Hawaiian winter "rain, no snow." Even though the constant fall of rain becomes dreary and dull, in the back of my mind I am grateful that rain is falling from the sky instead of snow. I cannot imagine driving to school on icy roads, shoveling snow, and all the other chores that snow entails. I said “only rain” because compared to the stress and problems that snow brings, rain doesn’t seem so bad. Of course, at the same time, Hawaii is similar to other places. We also have to deal with the hustle and bustle of Christmas. Children eagerly await Christmas morning in hope of finding " gifts wrapped in paper with a pretty bow." Like other places, this time of excitement also causes us to reflect on the true meaning of ohana. The State of Hawaii seems to be overflowing with aloha. People generously give toys, clothes, practical items, and time to help many of Hawaii’s families that seem to have hit a bump in the road. Children have something to look forward to and nobody is left out.
Winter can be quite demanding, but it quickly seeps into spring. Spring is a joyous time. Everything seems to be awakening. People start to notice their surroundings: the bird gathering grass for her nest and vibrant flowers bursting into bloom. Hawaii serves as a home to a variety of endemic plants and animals. “Spring is the time when iiwi birds sing.” Sadly, these birds are endangered because of all the introduced species that threaten them. These native birds were an important part of the Hawaiian culture. Selected Hawaiians would specialize in catching and plucking the brightly colored feathers of these birds. The feathers would then be used to create stunning garments and accessories, such as capes, for the alii. These birds are found nowhere else besides Hawaii and will be irreplaceable if they become extinct. If they disappear, Hawaii will lose part of its culture. The sonnet continues by describing "the flaming red hibiscus." Even though it isn't endemic and can be found in many other places, it just so happens that it is the state flower. Its captivating red petals demand attention. It’s almost as if Hawaii is saying, “We are special, you will never find a place quite as beautiful and exciting as us!”
"Nature gives us a brilliant show." Sometimes, I think that we can forget how lucky we are to live in Hawaii. People have paid hundreds of dollars to visit Hawaii’s beaches with white sand and clear water, hike in the lush, green mountains, watch lava flowing toward the ocean, and many other things that we often take for granted. Sometimes, we are so caught up in other things that we forget how lucky we are to live on such a beautiful island.
Summer is probably my favorite time of year. It is a time to rest from the demands of the school year and have fun with friends and enjoy yourself without thinking about papers or tests. During the summer, one of the favorite places for people to be is the beach, so I included a warning: “Watch out! The sun sears unprotected skin.” Sometimes, our ability to relax in the sun hinders our judgment and we forget how powerful the sun is. Many times, unlucky tourists and locals return home with stinging sunburns in exchange for a day of fun with friends and family in pristine Hawaiian waters under clear blue skies.
Every year, we can tell when summer has officially melted into fall as soon as the first kolea is spotted. To me, it feels like sort of an honor to live on the island that the kolea annually fly to. Their flying here from far away Alaska says something about Hawaii. Hawaii is a place of value where weary travelers can rest. It is almost a bittersweet feeling that washes over me when I see the kolea. Part of me is amazed that they are able to find Hawaii in the midst of the vast Pacific Ocean, a mere dot when you glance at a map. In a way, their flight here is almost like a foreboding of a school year and changes soon to come.
Hawaii’s seasons, winter, spring, summer, and fall, are a cycle. Now, when I see a kolea decked with it’s brilliant white, black, and gold feathers, ready for the long journey to Alaska, I know that summer is almost here and the cycle goes on. As time goes by, we grow older and wiser. It seems as though everything is changing and evolving around us, but the rhythm of this island remains beautiful and unchanging.

7 comments:

Silent C said...

nice poem. a suggestion for your paper would be to tak about the spring fling. caus i dont know what that is. Also, why did u end with autumn and going back to school. one thing that was definatley good was ur word choice. good job

Anonymous said...

wow you changed your sonnet a lot! i really like it. I love the word sears, it just like, clicks for me, oh and I think you need to capitalize the word Kolea, cuz it's a name. One question though, why are you relating to spring fling? it was like, 5 years ago...

Katherine said...

I really like the new version Bethany! You improved youre word choice which really helps!
Good Job!
Katherine

kiley said...

bethany,
i really liked your sonnet because it was true, and not just written to get the rhyming words. it also showed a little about the differnt seasons in hawaii, which are different from anywhere else on the world
good job
(you might want to change the spring fling like lian said to make it something that happens for us or academy students)

Stacie said...

this is a great sonnet. i agree the others though, to take out the spring fling. it doesnt flow well in your sonnet. but if you were reminicing about your past then it would be good to include it.
-traci

:) said...

I like the new adjectives you used in your poem. I like the little details you put in on all the different seasons... maybe you can write about how this relates to life? you know the seasons are going to change yearround but you still change, maybe not in the same cycle but you still change, like getting older, wiser and smarter. But keeping your past with you. It might be a strech, but it's just a suggestion. Good JOb.

Arr. said...

Home in Hawaii

The Aloha State has unique seasons.
In winter there is only rain, no snow.
We love this time, we all have our reasons:
gifts wrapped in paper with a pretty bow.
Spring is the time when Iiwi birds sing.
The early rising sun makes new life grow.
The flaming red hibiscus is blooming
As nature gives us a brilliant show.
Summer is the relaxing time of year.
The schools are out and break is moving in.
No more monotonous lectures to hear.
Watch out! The sun sears unprotected skin.
Autumn is when the Kolea return.
School is in session, we have come to learn.


Sonnet Analysis

In my sonnet, I wanted to show that Hawaii was like no other place on earth. I chose seasons to show one of Hawaii's unique qualities. For each season, I tried to put at least one example in that made this place so special and different from anywhere else.
When people think of winter in general, they picture snow drifting down from the sky and covering the earth with glistening white, but in Hawaii, we have snowless winters. Instead, we have lots and lots of rain. (If you remember last year, we had forty days of rain.) I wrote " rain, no snow" because even though I get really tired of the constant raining, in the back of my mind I am grateful that rain is falling from the sky instead of snow. I cannot imagine driving to school on icy roads, shoveling snow, and all the other chores that come with falling snow. I said “only rain” because compared to the stress and problems that snow brings, rain doesn’t seem so bad. Of course, at the same time, Hawaii is similar to other places because of Christmas an event that happens during winter. Families and communities are brought together at this time. Children eagerly await Christmas morning in hope of finding " gifts wrapped in paper with a pretty bow." The State of Hawaii seems to be overflowing with aloha and buying presents for unsuspecting children who have come to accept the fact that they might not find something under their Christmas tree.
Hawaii has a lot of endemic plants and animals and I wanted to show this so I had a line about the Iiwi birds. “Spring is the time when Iiwi birds sing.” Sadly, these birds are endangered because of all the introduced species that threaten them. These birds are found nowhere else besides Hawaii and will be irreplaceable if they become extinct. I also wrote about "the flaming red hibiscus." Even though it isn't endemic and can be found in a lot of other places, it just so happens that it is the state flower.
"Nature gives us a brilliant show." Sometimes, I think that we can forget how lucky we are to live in Hawaii. People have paid hundreds of dollars to visit Hawaii’s beaches with white sand and clear water, hike in the lush, green mountains, watch lava flowing toward the ocean, and many other things that we often take for granted. Sometimes, we are so caught up in other things that we forget how lucky we are to live on such a beautiful island.
Summer is probably my favorite time of year. It is a time to rest from the demands of the school year and have fun with friends and enjoy yourself without thinking about the papers or tests. During the summer, one of the favorite places for people to be is the beach, so I included a warning: “Watch out! The sun sears unprotected skin.” Luckily, I have never gotten a bad sunburn, but I have been told that it is quite painful. Because Hawaii is sort of close to the equator, we get a lot of sun. It seems as though my teachers and parents are always talking about wearing sunscreen because the sun is so powerful.
Every year, we can tell when summer has officially melted into fall as soon as the first Kolea is spotted. To me, it feels like sort of an honor to live on the island that the Kolea annually to. Their flying here from far away Alaska says something about Hawaii. Hawaii is a place of value where weary travelers can rest. It is almost a bittersweet feeling that washes over me when I see the Kolea. Part of me is amazed that they are able to find Hawaii in the midst of the vast Pacific Ocean, a mere dot when you glance at a map. In a way, their flight here is almost like a foreboding of a school year and changes soon to come.
Hawaii’s seasons, winter, spring, summer, and fall, are a cycle. As time goes by, we grow older and wiser and it seems as though everything is changing and evolving around us, but the rhythm of this island remains unchanged. Now, when I see a Kolea decked with it’s brilliant white, black, and gold feathers, ready for the long journey to Alaska, I know that summer is almost here and the cycle goes on.
(Your sonnet was very good and had a lot of voice going along with it. The connections to both how Hawaii had its changing seasons, how the animals, plants bloom in the sun, and what the sun can do to unprotected skin. The flow in your sonnet keeps everything connected together and it is written very nicely. I read the analysis and it seems like very small errors. Don't you capitalize the names of the birds cause it’s a name? The support that you wrote explaining what the birds look like, how what they look like. Other then that, great job.

Grading scale:
20 Message and support
20 Clarity
19 Fluency
19 Technique
20 Voice
TOTAL:98/100